I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
