Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
