my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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