guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
