I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I love you.
Bad choice
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
