i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
