i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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