I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
