Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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