So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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