I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
