what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
