i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
