He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We named our party play list daddy issues
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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