I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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