I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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