I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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