In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
