oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
