carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
