Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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