plz talk dirty to me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
