my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
