so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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