508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
