He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
