He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
