Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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