bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
