due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
