Someone shit on the floor
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
why is half of my head shaved?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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