oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
