the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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