Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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