The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
