It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
