Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

grinding to god bless the USA? really?

(860): View more from Connecticut

shut up

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(910): View more from North Carolina

wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

(910): View more from North Carolina

IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

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(805): View more from California

Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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(239): View more from Florida

so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.

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(779): View more from Illinois

We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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(550): View more from

I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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(805): View more from California

Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?

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