I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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