Girls should come with a carfax report
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I believe in your delicious
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
