Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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