honey bunches of taint.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
