I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
