The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
