I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
