I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
