Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
