You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
