all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
