Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
