The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
